The Water Can
By T. Rex
The following was told to me by the woman in the story a few summers after it happened. I’ve added some detail to make it more complete and comprehensible.
I once knew a woman in Sweden who had a summer cottage in a rather isolated area. Every summer she would go there for vacation. It was a half hour drive to the nearest town. The property was beautiful, surrounded by a high hedge and trees, beyond which was forest. It had a small vegetable garden and a flower bed around the small patio, a large lawn and a compost pile.
She would go there with a minimum of baggage as she didn’t have a laundy machine or dryer in the cottage. Anything had to be washed by hand in the small bathroom sink. The cottage had a main room with a kitchen counter, sink, stove, large refrigerator and cabinets along one wall. The other wall along the patio had large picture windows beside the entrance. There was a fire place by the other wall. Across from the kitchen counter was the bathroom with toilet, sink and shower without a stall. She had never bothered to install a shower curtain, as the room was so small. There was a clear plastic curtain in place of the non-existing door, mostly to keep splashing water from the shower from getting on the floor outside the bath room. Between the bathroom and kitchen counter there was a short corridor with a bedroom on each side. These were so small they only could contain the bed, a small night table, a chair and small wardrobe.
Upon arrival, she had to tend to the gardening- trimming the bushes in the hedges, mow the lawn by hand, uproot crab grass form the vegetable garden and flower bed and plant new vegetables and flowers, which she brought with her to the cottage. Being hard and dirty work, she had taken to do it without any clothing on to spare her clothes from the wear and dirt. Why not? Nobody came near the property. The nearest neighbor was another woman in a summer cottage some half mile away. When finished with the day’s work she simply walked into the bath room shower and got cleaned off. Then make dinner, eat and watch television, listen to the radio or read before dropping off to bed, all still undressed.
One summer, she had trimmed the bushes, mowed the lawn and placed all the cuttings in the compost pile, as usual. She then proceeded to plant the flower bed around the patio. When she was to water the flowers, she discovered her watering can was missing. She couldn’t remember what she had done with it, and could not find it anywhere. So she went in to the kitchen, took a glass, filled it with water, took it out to the flower bed and poured it out on the earth. After doing this a dozen times, she saw she wasn’t making much progress. Tired from the days work, she took her usual shower.
As she was rinsing soap off her anus, she suddenly came to think- she could hold a gallon of water inside herself, so why not use herself to transport the water to the flower garden and water it that way? It would save some 16 or more trips with the glass per gallon of water. But how was she to get the water inside herself? Her enema equipment was at home. Had she had it at the cottage, she would have been able to use it in place of the missing water can- the bag had a one gallon capacity. And the shower head was 3 inches wide, so that was meaningless to try to get the water inside herself.
She finished her shower, made dinner, ate, did the dishes and flopped down before the TV to watch a plumbing program which didn’t really interest her, but there was only nonsense on the other chanels. Tired and half asleep in the easy chair, she suddenly started as the program described the installation of a shower- they were showing the final installation of the shower hose to the fawcett system and the shower head to the other end of the hose. That she hadn’t thought of unscrewing the shower head from the hose!
She went into the shower and took the shower head in one hand and tried to loosen the nut holding it to the hose. It wouldn’t budge. She went to the tool box, got out the wrench, returned to the shower and easily removed the shower head. She then turned on the water, adjusted the temperature and flow, and, because of the narrow flange on the end of the hose for the nut, gently placed the hose against her anus.
At first the water only sprayed to the sides. She slowly moved the hose a bit fore and back until she could feel the jet of water spread the outer part of her anal canal. She gently pushed the hose closer and felt how the jet of water pushed futher up her anus. Now she had it right. She slowly pushed the hose against the opening and felt how the water started to push through her anus into her rectum. Using the flow, she slowly pushed the hose into her anal canal. The flange was uncomfortable, but she was able to glide it through her canal. Since her rectum was filling, the hose glided in easily once the flange had passed through her anus. She was able to insert the hose some 12 inches in and up into her belly as her rectum and pelvic colon filled. She watched as her belly slowly distended and she felt a gradually increasing weight and pressure inside. When she felt she couldn’t hold any more water, and started leaking, she carefully pulled out the shower hose.
She pressed the fingers of one hand against her anus in order to prevent it from leaking, and walked quickly out to the flower bed. She put one foot on each side of the flower bed, straddling it, and let out a long jet of water. She looked at where it was landing and shifted herself from side to side to distribute the water as evenly as possible. When an area was watered she stepped foreward to cover the next. As her colon emptied, her intestinal content also shot out. She simply regarded this as added fertilizer. When she was empty, she noted that about a quarter of the flower bed had been watered. A lot more easy and fun than running 16 or more times with a glass. She went back into the shower and repeated the process another three times. When the whole flower bed was watered she felt exhausted and crampy inside. She washed off her anus and legs in the shower, dried herself and went to bed, dead tired.
The next day she went about her other gardening chores, as usual. She then took her shower, unscrewed the shower head, filled herself with water and repeated the watering process from the previous evening. After which she felt quite exhausted and her colon quite crampy and upset. She had a bit of a hard time to fall asleep due to this, despite the exhaustion.
She repeated the same process the third day, but by now, she definitely did not feel good inside, apart from being exhausted. She decided she would have to drive to the town and try to get a new watering can the following day.
After breakfast she got dressed and went to her car to buy that watering can. She opened the trunk to see if she had left anything in it. That’s when she noticed the beach blanket lying in a mess in a corner of the trunk. Why was it a mess and lying just there? When she picked it up to fold it and take it indoors, she saw, to her great surprise, her watering can! Just how had it wound up in the trunk, and under the beach blanket, at that? She felt so befuddled- all that trouble to water the flower bed, and the watering can was in the trunk of her car! But why? She never took the watering can away from the cottage since she had one at home. Well, she had now had an unusual, somewhat uncomfortable, experince watering her flower bed at which she would laugh many times during coming years.
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